I recently began re-reading the latest, updated “4-Hour Workweek” e-book on Kindle for PC. I love reading books this way. One of the things that stuck with me is Timothy Ferris’ assertion that “the more uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have, the more successful you will become”.
Here are seven uncomfortable conversation circumstances that will almost certainly breed increased success:
- Calling on the CEO of a much larger company you want to do business with to grow your company
- Starting conversations with strangers, learning from them and getting to know them; e.g., Twitter, blogs, forums
- Reaching out to powerful, influential people to develop a relationship; e.g., LinkedIn
- Opening up partnering and collaboration discussions with a potential competitor
- Negotiating a solution to a nagging problem, issue or relationship that’s impacting your time or peace of mind
- Calling a meeting to resolve an issue with someone you know doesn’t like you or is often confrontational
- Calling a customer again who has already told you NO - to try one more time to be of service when you know you can bring real value to the table
I am certain there are many more uncomfortable conversations, but perhaps I’m too uncomfortable to think about them right now 
When I was a young salesperson, I ran into a difficult negotiation where the other party was being unreasonable. I wanted to license some source code to them and they needed this source code I had developed. I was asking for $10,000 for a source license, which was reasonable at the time. They countered with a $1,000 offer, which was offensive.
After much going back and forth, neither side was willing to budge. I was an independent consultant / software developer and they were a much larger company and they were clearly trying to take advantage of me…
So in frustration, I consulted Jake, my “sales Yoda” and close friend at the time. Jake taught me a valuable lesson that day. He said “Rick, you can’t conjugate the dead ones. If a deal is dead, there is no deader or deadest – you have nothing to lose by trying again. They can’t come through the phone and choke you or do you bodily harm, so what do you have to lose?”
I thought about it for a while, determined not to let this opportunity slip by, as I needed the money and I knew this company needed the source code for their project, because they had explained why they needed it and how much time it would save them.
So I called them back and said, “well, I’ve had some time to think about our last discussion, and I realized something. You were right – $10,000 wasn’t the right price. The price is now $30,000″
There was a moment of silence and the voice on the phone said “You’re kidding, right?” I said, “No. This source code is actually worth $30,000 and you know it. Give it some thought and I’ll be back in touch”. I said goodbye and hung up.
It felt so good, I’m sure I must have had an evil grin on my face when I hung up the phone!
I waited about a week, letting them stew in their own juices and realize my ridiculous counter offer was sure to reach the highest levels at their company, causing them to carefully evaluate all their alternatives – and realize the REAL value of my source code.
Then I called him back a week later and said, “you know, I’ve been thinking…even though the source code is worth $30,000, I am willing to be reasonable and part with it for $10,000 because I know how much it will help you with your project.” Then I shut up, knowing that once you make your closing argument, whoever speaks first loses…
After what seemed like an eternity, my new customer said “You’re right. We’ll pay $10,000 for the source code. How soon can you deliver it?”
I was stunned. It actually worked!
Jake and I got a big laugh when I told him about what I did and how well it worked. I named it the “raise the price close”. I’ve never had the occasion to use it again, and hope I never do…
Isn’t it funny how these situations stick with us and shape our perspective? And the more we expand our comfort zone for doing whatever it takes to succeed, the more we win. It’s a simple enough concept, but one that most people aren’t willing to adopt and deliberately pursue.
Top-performing Business Development and Sales people are masters at taming uncomfortable situations, but it doesn’t come naturally – at least not for most of us…
So, what uncomfortable conversations are you willing to have to win and get what you want in your life and in business?
{ 17 comments }
I’m having the same sort of trouble building my freelancing and consulting business. I’m probably underselling my services. Money is tight though, so finding the sweet spot is hard.
This is an excellent and motivating story. Raising the price is great way to screen clients.
7 Uncomfortable Conversations That Will Make You Successful http://bit.ly/6Kjn8u #twitter #socialmedia #leadership #sales
7 Uncomfortable Conversations that Lead to Success http://ow.ly/U9d6
Hey Rick:
Great article! I can’t agree with you more on the importance of practicing being uncomfortable. It is certainly an art that gets me closer to satisfaction and happiness every time I expose myself to uncomfortable situations and people. I’ll give you an example that has nothing to do with launches or sales: Yoga.
I’ve been practicing yoga for 6 years and still struggle to bring myself to come to a class! It’s not the physical postures that intimidate me. It’s the breath. It’s the fact that while I go through the vinyasas I have to focus on my inhales and exhales. Do you know what happens when you just focus on your breath Rick? Those voices in your head get damn loud! It has to be one of the most uncomfortable things for me to put myself into and yet I’m still there, after 6 years doing yoga.
What has it taught me? Exactly what your article teaches: The more often I voluntarily make myself uncomfortable the easier it is to cope when life involuntarily makes me uneasy. It’s kinda weird but the more I practice the better I get at it. Ultimately, the more I practice the closer I get to the real goal: Clarity and happiness.
Thanks again for your insight and teachings.
peace or should I say, “Namaste?”
7 Uncomfortable Conversations that Lead to Success http://bit.ly/7T3uJD
Jeff,
Thanks for the comment and those insights into Yoga. Great example. I had no idea Yoga could have that kind of effect.
This whole discussion reminds me of something Tony Robbins once said in his Personal Power course (years ago now for me):
“People naturally seek to gain pleasure and avoid pain.” The key is to reprogram our associations – what we anchor to and associate with a given situation. And “people will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure”. So Tony’s suggestion is that we create associations to the pain and consequences of not taking action and that will motivate us more to get past the barriers that hold us back.
I hope you’re breathing easier and enjoy the warm weather in Mexico. Brrr. It’s cold here!
Dave,
Hope you are able to find your niche. Another saying from a mentor, sales trainer and great speaker Jimmy Cabrerra that stuck with me is “find your niche, or stay in the ditch”. We all must find a niche where we can excel and be number 1 in the eyes of our customers.
Let me know if I can help in any way.
Best,
Rick
7 Uncomfortable Conversations That Lead to Success, in Life and in Business http://bit.ly/6Kjn8u
.@rickbraddy Yes, I do like your modification to your blog article (http://bit.ly/6Kjn8u) very much.
RT @rickbraddy 7 Uncomfortable Conversations That Lead to Success, in Life and in Business http://bit.ly/6Kjn8u
RT @jppezzella: RT @rickbraddy 7 Uncomfortable Conversations that Lead to Success http://bit.ly/63Pk76
Hello. Thanks for the read. I agree standing up for what you believe in counts for something. I love iot. I can sell a product to almost anyone. been doing sales for years, yet the job market is so tight, Do hyou have any advice for a midlevel professional that wants a job that she enjoys and can grow, yet play the waiting game with mangers concerning job seakers job?
Respond privately , please.
Thanks,
Stay Warrm
About the uncomfortable conversations: “Adversity introduces a man to himself.” – Anon
My success story: I had worked on closing a certain prospect for over a year. I was at the near-annoying phase, pushing the very edge of polite persistence. I let 3 weeks pass, called to say: “we are taking you off our discussion list – accounts we should have sold and haven’t yet..” He asked me to come by next week and we did the deal.
7 Uncomfortable Conversations That Lead to Success in Life and in Business http://bit.ly/6Kjn8u (and true story about closing the lost sale)
RT @rickbraddy: 7 Uncomfortable Conversations That Lead to Success in Life and in Business http://bit.ly/6Kjn8u (and true story about cl …
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